How to Turn Seeming Incompatibility Into Getting the Love You Want

Today, it was really nice to hear that disagreements and seeming incompatibility is NORMAL, HEALTHY and NATURE's DESIGN.

WOW

In fact, they make relationships more interesting, allow for growth, development and healing from childhood. A relationship built on resolving issues and helping both parties feel satisfied
is fulfilling and more lasting.

the myth: disagreement means unsuitability
I REALLY BELIEVED THIS !! (until now of course)

I used to have this fairytale dream. It really is a dream to have a partner that will agree with you on everything, anticipate your needs and just be very allowing and peaceful. Then i realised that silence in a relationship isn't fun and it doesn't allow growth for both of us an individuals and as a couple. I've been watching some shows about astrological signs and they mention about sagitarians being fickle minded, needing change and constantly wanting to do things in new ways. haha i find it very true.

I have grown to learn that disagreements and arguments make me feel very uncomfortable but really allow me (maybe even forces me) to face my 'shadow', learn and grow from it. They always talk about the 'fight or flight' response, but i'm predominantly a FLIGHT person. Any sign of discomfort and disagreement and i would think 'ok this shows we are not compatible, let's end it before things get worse and we both get more hurt'.

WOW i really like this phrase "conflict is growth trying to happen"

i have learnt so much more from the conflicts in the last 5 months compared to the peacefulness of 2.5 years. I have learnt to face conflict and communicate in better ways that lead to resolutions instead of hiding and running away.

Falling in love, and then feeling like it turned into a nightmare is NORMAL. Many couples are experiencing the same thing, so don't give up on your relationship just yet when you meet with disagreement. It may be uncomfortable but dealing with it together with the person you fell in love with will be very rewarding and builds a lasting love relationship.


thanks to
Harville Hendrix & Helen LaKelly-Hunt at http://gettingtheloveyouwant.com/ for confirming with me that conflict and disagreements are OK :)