What To Do When You Fear Bumping Into Your Ex - 3 Reasons Why You Should Tell Your Friends About It

What To Do When You Fear Bumping Into Your Ex - 3 Reasons Why You Should Tell Your Friends About It
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Lim_Shuyan]Lim Shuyan

Well meaning friends often find all reasons to get you out of the house during your recovery phase. You may reluctantly agree to go along with their plans and find yourself at a nightclub in attempt to dance your sadness away. But who would expect that you now have a fear of bumping into him because the crowd looks like he could be there? You look around cautiously, unable to have a good time. What do you do? Do you try to deal with it yourself for fear of spoiling your friends' night of fun? Let me share with you 3 reasons why you should get their help.

There may be many reasons for your fear of seeing him. Sometimes I am self conscious, feeling that I don't look my absolute fabulous self because I wore my only clean pressed outfit and it may not be the most flattering piece in my closet. Other times I just don't feel ready to face him in a calm and composed manner without bursting into tears or screaming at him in anger.

The best way to overcome your fear of something is to get prepared. Those who fear the dark prepare themselves with flashlights. When you fear seeing your ex, you prepare an action plan for what to do. Good friends will do their best to help you, offering support and encouragement during this trying time. So get your friends who are out with you on this plan, or get their help in devising a strategy.

Reason #1: Your friends may be focused on having a good time and are unaware that you can do with more support.

The best person to take care of you, is YOU. Don't expect others to look out for your needs because over-reliance never leaves a good taste on the tongue. Even if your friends have your best intentions, they will not be able to know what you need 100% of the time. Being aware that you need some support and asking for it is a powerful way to rebuild the connection with yourself. Let go of all fear that you will be ruining their enjoyment because of your needs. Your friends are not mind readers and should not be treated as such. Be the one to voice out what you need from them and they will be more than willing to help you in any way.

Reason #2: Friends offer insightful advice and encouragement on how to overcome your fear.

Viewing your situation as a third party, your friends often see how well you've been coping with the breakup and your efforts to rebuild your life as a single. They can offer a different perspective when you are beating yourself up about not looking or feeling more confident. This way, you start to see yourself in a more positive light and acknowledge how well you are doing. This increases your confidence to go out there and face your demons if needed. See yourself the way your friends see you, as an amazing, wonderful, strong and resilient person handling a breakup.

Reason #3: They will know how you want them to help you.

Different people handle situations differently. In the scenario of meeting him at the nightclub, three different people may react in three different ways. One may run away, another may stay to chat and catch up, the last one might quickly say hi and leave confidently. The key is to decide which of the actions most suit your ability to handle the encounter. Then decide if you would like your friend to be around to give you moral support, pull you away, or prevent you from talking to him in the first place. Letting your friends know what to do prevents the situation where you blame them for doing the 'wrong' thing.

In conclusion, it can be beneficial to let the friends who are out with you know of your fear. This gives them to opportunity to be good friends and help support you in ways that you need to be supported. Being aware of your feelings and fears and asking for help when needed is important during this time of rebuilding the connection with yourself. They can offer insightful and more encouraging views of how well you are coping so that you feel more confident during the night. Lastly, letting them know what you would like them to do makes it easier for everyone to help you through and prevents blaming.

Sueyan Lim Shuyan shares advice on getting through a breakup and rediscovering yourself as a powerful individual. Reconnecting with yourself, mind body and spirit is a process. Although change can be painful, it also can bring about positive transformation in your life. For more tips on dealing with your breakup, go to my blog at [http://bunnybreakup.blogspot.com/]http://bunnybreakup.blogspot.com.

It is important to acknowledge that you are coping well and to continue encouraging yourself. Go to http://www.prosperitysistersbeasyness.com to let your true self shine by positively encouraging yourself.

Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?What-To-Do-When-You-Fear-Bumping-Into-Your-Ex---3-Reasons-Why-You-Should-Tell-Your-Friends-About-It&id=6604486] What To Do When You Fear Bumping Into Your Ex - 3 Reasons Why You Should Tell Your Friends About It