What It Really Means When Your Boyfriend Is a Workaholic and Doesn't Spend Enough Time With You

this article i wrote is really apt for what i should have known before it happened to me....

What It Really Means When Your Boyfriend Is a Workaholic and Doesn't Spend Enough Time With You

By Lim Shuyan

Are work commitments keeping him from spending more time with you? You hardly see him and are starting to feel neglected but he says he's eager to get a promotion and earn more money for your future together. Find out what it means for you when he is sacrificing time to maintain the relationship and what you can do to feel better.

Spending Quality Time Together Is Important

Maintaining relationships take time and effort. If couples don't spend time together, share experiences and update each other on their daily activities, they can drift apart and feel distant from each other. Both parties need to put in effort to stay involved with each others' lives.

But what if he says he's doing it for your future together? He wants a promotion and has been doing whatever it takes to stand out and get the boss's attention. He's busy volunteering for extra work, trying to help everyone and even taking on extra responsibilities like planning company functions. What does it mean when you're feeling neglected but he says it's all for your future together.

While these are all valid reasons, it signifies that his priorities in life have shifted. It doesn't mean that he no longer wants to be in the relationship, only that his main priority is now to get ahead in his career. That is why he would rather spend significantly more of his time, or all of his time at work instead of spending it with you.

Men are simple creatures in that they will spend more time with whatever is important to them. If he is neglecting you because of work, then he obviously finds his work more important than you.

What Can You Do About It?

The first step to improve this situation is to be aware of what you want and need in the relationship. Assess the time commitment you need from him. It can help determine if you are the one with unrealistic expectations of him or if he is the one not putting in enough effort to maintain the relationship.

You need to ask for what you want out of the relationship. Understand your needs and make them known to him. The biggest mistake women make is to put up with being unsatisfied in the relationship when he doesn't spend as much time with you as you want.

Let him know your dissatisfaction in a calm manner and express solely how you feel about it without putting the focus on his actions. Try not to put the blame on him by saying 'You never have time for me'. Instead, express how it makes you feel by saying 'I feel neglected when you don't make time for me and it makes me feel unappreciated in your life'.

If he is unwilling to make changes and spend more time together, then you need to decide on a course of action. You might have a long history with him or an idealized image of your future together. But what really matters is in the present moment.

Make a New Decision

Are you going to continue putting up with his behaviour and change your expectations of him? Or do you deserve to be with someone who can give you what you want?

Do what is best for yourself in the current situation. Understand that it is normal for people to change and have new priorities. Relationships do change over time if both parties don't make constant effort to spend quality time together. Know what is important for you in a relationship and make sure your needs are being met.

When I was in this situation, my self esteem took a big blow. I was only seeing him for one hour a week and really wondering whether we were still in a relationship. We were spending so little time together, it almost felt like he had broken up with me using his actions. Then I realised that I didn't need to keep feeling lousy because of him. If he could change priorities, then so could I. I decided to make my happiness the most important thing to me. I could no longer be in a relationship with a guy who doesn't make me an important part of his life.

Sueyan Lim Shuyan is the co-founder of www.prosperitysistersbeasyness.com where she and her sister share relationship advice for young women. She is an expert on how to be a self loving woman who does what is right for herself to feel good in the present moment. Learn how be in a relationship that allows you to be true to yourself.

Click here to find out how you can feel more confident about yourself instead of needing to be in a relationship to feel validated. It is not true that being in a lousy relationship is better than not being in a relationship at all. You are good enough for him to want to spend more time with you. Don't let his actions make you think otherwise.

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What i regret from the breakup

This memory appeared out of the blue. But i started to get angry at myself for agreeing to one last hug as he dropped me off. I regret not having the dignity to say 'no'. I'm not even sure now what is the right thing to do. On one hand, that last hug gave me cloaure not to see him again but a part of me wishes that i had refused to give in to his request. Give him a taste of not getting what he wants.

Nobody gave us guidelines on how to break up. No one said what should or shouldn't happen. Whether to cry, shout or laugh. There really are no rules. Its only in retrospect that i regret giving him a last goodbye hug. He doesn't deserve me if he doesn't want to be with me. I should't even have any physical contact with him after we had broke up. Yet, i can't be certain that i would do it differently if i had to go through it again.

What do u think about last goodbye hugs ?
Yes or no?

Signs that a guy is really into you

How to Tell If a Guy Is Really Into You - Signs He Likes You

By Lim Shuyan

You probably have a guy on your mind. You really like him and would like to find out if he is really into you too. Here are 2 definite signs a guy will display when he really likes you. When guys know what they want, they will do whatever it takes to get it. So don't settle for anything less than what you deserve if he isn't asking you out or calling because you deserve to be treated like the princess that you are.

Sign #1: He asks you out

If a guy is into you, he wants to spend time alone with you. He can't get enough of you and wants to know everything about you and understand who you are inside. Going out on a date gives him the opportunity to impress you and interact with you more intimately. When he is really into you, he will ask you out and find a way to impress you no matter what his budget is.

Sign #2: He calls you

When a guy is really into you, you are on his mind and he will call to try and make sure he is on yours too. In the beginning, he may try to act cool and withhold contact for a few days at a time so he doesn't appear desperate. But, over time, he will call more often, even if just to say hello and that he misses you. He won't be able to resist and withhold contacting you.

Busy is never a good excuse. Men are never too busy to get what they want. A man knows how to use the phone, so he will call if you are on his mind. A man who is really into you would call no matter how busy he is because listening to your voice will be the thing that brightens up his busy day.

It will be obvious when a guy is really into you

When a man is really into you, it will be clear and obvious. Men express their interest through actions and will display these signals if he is serious about you. You shouldn't have to spend time figuring out his actions, or get upset that he's sending mixed signals.

Sounds too good to be true?

A guy may not be able to explain why he is into a woman and wants to spend his time with her. But when he knows what he wants, he will go all out to get it and make it his. If he is really into you, he will want to lay claim and have you all to himself. He will make it obvious that he wants to be the only guy in your life. He asks you out so you are spending time with him and not any other guy. He calls to let you know he misses you and so that he will constantly be on your mind instead of anyone else. Men are simple in that way that they show their interest through their actions.

What should you do if he doesn't display these signals?

A man should make you feel wanted, sexy and desired fully. He should want to call you and go out with you because every time he sees you and hears your voice, he likes and then loves you more and more. Unconditional love is good, just make sure you give it after your conditions have been met.

Set a time limit and if he doesn't buck up by then, go and find another one who is really into you. You deserve to be treated like the beautiful, intelligent and wonderful woman that you are. Don't scheme, plot or beg for him to ask you out. Don't flood his voice mail or call him at regular intervals until he picks up. When a guy is into you, he will show it. Have self love and the dignity to prove that you are worthy of being treated well by not settling for a man who doesn't display the signs that he is into you.

Sueyan Lim Shuyan shares relationship advice for young women. She is the co-founder of www.prosperitysistersbeasyness.com where she and her sister help women to love themselves more everyday. By discovering self worth and being true to themselves, women can feel more confident and comfortable with themselves. They feel sexy with or without a man because they don't need external validations to feel good. Click here to find out how you can learn to be a more self loving woman who has a great romantic relationship. No longer settle for men who don't display that he is really into you.

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How to Build Your Self Confidence - Positive Affirmations for Women

How to Build Your Self Confidence - Positive Affirmations for Women

By Lim Shuyan

Women love to feel good and be appreciated for who they are. You know the feeling when your boss praises you for doing a good job, or when a man adores you for looking good. Fundamentally, we all want to feel good about ourselves. But what about those incidences when we've been hurt? When someone passed a hurtful comment, or we failed at something? Those are the times when negative thoughts and beliefs about ourselves may have been formed. Lets explore how you can use positive affirmations to build self confidence. You can use these affirmations to feel more secure about yourself and feel good from within.

What are some positive affirmations for women?

• I love being a woman
• I love my body
• I rejoice in my femaleness
• My body is doing the best it can now

If love feels like a word that is too strong for now, use the word appreciate or enjoy. You may not feel like you can love your body yet, but starting to appreciate it is a good start.

Appearances affect your self confidence

A woman's appearance can really affect her confidence level. The media bombards us with images of what is 'perfect' and then we inadvertently compare ourselves with that. If we believe what they show us is the only form of being beautiful, and we look different from that, then we may start to form certain negative views about the way we look. Over time, negative thoughts and beliefs about ourselves limit us and create fear in our lives. We start to become fearful of being who we really are inside.

How can positive affirmations help?

Positive affirmations help to improve your self image by changing the way you look and think about your appearance. The fundamental basis of using positive affirmations is that we create our thoughts and beliefs in life. These thoughts and beliefs then shape our responses to anything that happens. We need to understand that events in themselves have no meaning, only the interpretations we give to it. So if we have chosen hurtful thoughts such as 'I am ugly' in the past, we can just as easily choose to change them into 'I am beautiful'.

I used to have an unrealistic ideal of looking like Kate Moss when in fact, I may never reach that goal. Comparing myself to super models, celebrities and even prettier girls in school, I felt that I was ugly and undesirable. It was worse when people remarked about my looks and unconsciously scarred me even more. It made me fearful to express myself.

Positive affirmations help change your negative thought patterns and habitual responses into more positive and self loving ones. The key is to notice when a negative thought comes up. Ask yourself if the thought makes you feel good. If it doesn't, choose a better one by turning it around.

What if it's not working?

Sometimes, you strongly believe and identify with thoughts and ideas that you have held on to for a long time. While those thoughts may have served you in the past, you can let them go and choose new ones that nourish you. You are an amazing individual with intelligence, beauty and wisdom. Seek to find confidence from within by believing in yourself and trusting that you are worthy and beautiful.

Sueyan Lim Shuyan has been working with positive affirmations for 5 years. She shares her wisdom on changing habitual thought patterns and responses into self loving ones. Loving yourself and letting your true self shine is an ongoing choice to do so. Click here to find out more ways you can positively encourage yourself to feel like the worthy and deserving individual you are.

Let me share with you how to let your true self shine no matter what anyone says. My sister and I help individuals love themselves more and more at our website www.prosperitysistersbeasyness.com

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Time Heals All Wounds But Never Erases History

You can't change history. No matter how much you pine and whine for him to come back, a breakup is still a breakup. Even if you have healed and the hurt has gone away, or you still can't bear to face him, nothing will change the fact that this person was part of your past. You shared intimate moments with each other, bared your soul and had many memories together during the x amount of time you were in the relationship.

It might be good at the time to maintain distance between each other so that you can appropriately deal with no longer being in a relationship together. But to swing from being so loving, to totally axe contact with him forever must be a painful thing.

Taking a more simplistic view, a breakup is like losing contact with a really close friend. Maybe he hurt you, tore your life apart and you wish so much to forget he ever existed and betrayed you because you could never forgive him. But just like a long lost friend, he will never be truly deleted from your life. Those memories, good or bad have left footprints in your life. They led you to where you are today, grown from those experiences and become tougher and stronger.

As much as I would like to pretend I never was in a relationship with him, I cannot deny that I learnt a lot about myself through that breakup. Those lessons would never have be taught to me if it didn't happen. So, while I still don't want to face him yet, I hope that one day I will no longer be scarred by the memories and hurt. That i will be able to have a decent conversation without being overwhelmed by anger of deceit and mistrust, but instead appreciation and gratitude for how far i have come since that breakup.

Time heals all wounds but never erases history. I want to be able to see him as a friend and an equal instead of someone to fear and block out because cutting out someone from your life can be a painful situation. Even just on a subconscious level, I know my mind works hard to try and remove him from ever being in my life. I look forward to the day when this is no longer the case.

I hope that you too will strive to be back on talking terms with your ex if it has been too painful to maintain contact until now. One day, you will decide to stop hurting yourself by cutting him out of your life. I just feel that it is nicer to treat someone like a friend than an enemy (no matter how detestable).

Why You Should Look Your Best After a Breakup, Even If You Don't Feel Like It

Why You Should Look Your Best After a Breakup, Even If You Don't Feel Like It

By Lim Shuyan

Imagine the satisfaction of walking up to your ex-boyfriend and he can hardly say hello because you look so good, almost better than you did when you were still dating each other. And then you might be familiar with the feeling of being seen by him in your pyjamas while carrying a bag of comfort foods like potato chips and ice cream from the supermarket. Now, which of those two scenarios would you prefer to be in? The one with you looking gorgeous, or the one with you looking like you let yourself go?

Hopefully, similar to me, you would prefer to bump into him looking like a stunning beauty.

Looking your best means wearing clothes that make you feel good and attractive. There can be some level of comfort, but no pyjamas or crumpled clothes allowed. It is easy to sink into self-pity mode and mope around all day doing nothing. However, you want to make sure you always have clean clothes and underwear for any occasion. Doing your laundry to make sure you have that flattering dress handy can turn into a pleasant activity. You will be surprised that the most mundane things like ironing and folding clothes can sometimes be just what you need for quieting your mind and gaining clarity over the breakup situation.

Make the effort to schedule that manicure or bikini wax that you let yourself skip because it can take your mind off analyzing the breakup. At these places, you are unlikely to bump into your ex-boyfriend so you can relax in peace. You will also enjoy the fresh air once you get out of your apartment. Better yet, invite a friend to go along because company and support are essential after a breakup.

One obvious reason you might think of for looking good after a breakup is to make him regret ever leaving you when he sees how amazing you look. In fact, making the effort to look your best after a breakup is essentially an act of self love. It shows that you are the most important person in your life by focusing on your relationship with YOU. This is the best way for self loving girls like yourself to heal your wounds, care for yourself and feel good again. Do it because you are a worthy and beautiful individual even if after a breakup, not to get back at him. You want to build your relationship with yourself and regain that confidence and self esteem.

The trick to achieving the desired effect of looking your best after a breakup, even if you don't feel like it, is to fake it till you make it. You don't have to take drastic measures of putting on a stunning dress, high heels, styled hair and full makeup. The key is to make some effort to look presentable. Don't ditch those sweatpants if you don't feel like it, but pair it with a fitting top instead of that baggy oversized tee shirt. It will turn you from lazy couch potato into sexy exercise girl. Then top it off with a basic eye liner, mascara, light blusher and a sheer lip gloss to finish. This is an easy formula that takes less than five minutes to accomplish but will make you look brighter and fresher no matter how you feel.

In conclusion, make the effort to look your best after a breakup. It not only makes you look good and feel confident if you happen to bump into that ex-boyfriend, but also rebuilds your relationship with yourself. It is important to get in touch with who you are again as an individual after a breakup. The self loving, beautiful, amazing individual that you.

Sueyan Lim Shuyan shares advice on dealing with your breakup and rediscovering yourself as a powerful individual. Reconnecting with who you are in a mental, physical and spiritual process. Visit http://www.prosperitysistersbeasyness.com now to find out more about building the relationship with yourself and letting your true self shine through positive self encouragement.
Go to my blog http://bunnybreakup.blogspot.com for more tips on dealing with your breakup today.

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What To Do When You Fear Seeing Your Ex At A Night Club - 3 Reasons Why You Should Let Your Pals Know About It

Heading out to a night club even though you don't feel like it, but go anyway because your pals have dragged you to dress up and get out in attempt to make you feel better?

A good support system made up of friends and family are essential during your recovery from a breakup. In attempt to get you out of the house and help you feel better, They may Especially when you are out with your pals to a nightclub, it is important to let them know of your fear so they can help you. Friends sometimes need reminders of your needs especially on a night out when they are almost totally focused on having maximum fun.

What To Do When You Fear Bumping Into Your Ex - 3 Reasons Why You Should Tell Your Friends About It

What To Do When You Fear Bumping Into Your Ex - 3 Reasons Why You Should Tell Your Friends About It
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Lim_Shuyan]Lim Shuyan

Well meaning friends often find all reasons to get you out of the house during your recovery phase. You may reluctantly agree to go along with their plans and find yourself at a nightclub in attempt to dance your sadness away. But who would expect that you now have a fear of bumping into him because the crowd looks like he could be there? You look around cautiously, unable to have a good time. What do you do? Do you try to deal with it yourself for fear of spoiling your friends' night of fun? Let me share with you 3 reasons why you should get their help.

There may be many reasons for your fear of seeing him. Sometimes I am self conscious, feeling that I don't look my absolute fabulous self because I wore my only clean pressed outfit and it may not be the most flattering piece in my closet. Other times I just don't feel ready to face him in a calm and composed manner without bursting into tears or screaming at him in anger.

The best way to overcome your fear of something is to get prepared. Those who fear the dark prepare themselves with flashlights. When you fear seeing your ex, you prepare an action plan for what to do. Good friends will do their best to help you, offering support and encouragement during this trying time. So get your friends who are out with you on this plan, or get their help in devising a strategy.

Reason #1: Your friends may be focused on having a good time and are unaware that you can do with more support.

The best person to take care of you, is YOU. Don't expect others to look out for your needs because over-reliance never leaves a good taste on the tongue. Even if your friends have your best intentions, they will not be able to know what you need 100% of the time. Being aware that you need some support and asking for it is a powerful way to rebuild the connection with yourself. Let go of all fear that you will be ruining their enjoyment because of your needs. Your friends are not mind readers and should not be treated as such. Be the one to voice out what you need from them and they will be more than willing to help you in any way.

Reason #2: Friends offer insightful advice and encouragement on how to overcome your fear.

Viewing your situation as a third party, your friends often see how well you've been coping with the breakup and your efforts to rebuild your life as a single. They can offer a different perspective when you are beating yourself up about not looking or feeling more confident. This way, you start to see yourself in a more positive light and acknowledge how well you are doing. This increases your confidence to go out there and face your demons if needed. See yourself the way your friends see you, as an amazing, wonderful, strong and resilient person handling a breakup.

Reason #3: They will know how you want them to help you.

Different people handle situations differently. In the scenario of meeting him at the nightclub, three different people may react in three different ways. One may run away, another may stay to chat and catch up, the last one might quickly say hi and leave confidently. The key is to decide which of the actions most suit your ability to handle the encounter. Then decide if you would like your friend to be around to give you moral support, pull you away, or prevent you from talking to him in the first place. Letting your friends know what to do prevents the situation where you blame them for doing the 'wrong' thing.

In conclusion, it can be beneficial to let the friends who are out with you know of your fear. This gives them to opportunity to be good friends and help support you in ways that you need to be supported. Being aware of your feelings and fears and asking for help when needed is important during this time of rebuilding the connection with yourself. They can offer insightful and more encouraging views of how well you are coping so that you feel more confident during the night. Lastly, letting them know what you would like them to do makes it easier for everyone to help you through and prevents blaming.

Sueyan Lim Shuyan shares advice on getting through a breakup and rediscovering yourself as a powerful individual. Reconnecting with yourself, mind body and spirit is a process. Although change can be painful, it also can bring about positive transformation in your life. For more tips on dealing with your breakup, go to my blog at [http://bunnybreakup.blogspot.com/]http://bunnybreakup.blogspot.com.

It is important to acknowledge that you are coping well and to continue encouraging yourself. Go to http://www.prosperitysistersbeasyness.com to let your true self shine by positively encouraging yourself.

Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?What-To-Do-When-You-Fear-Bumping-Into-Your-Ex---3-Reasons-Why-You-Should-Tell-Your-Friends-About-It&id=6604486] What To Do When You Fear Bumping Into Your Ex - 3 Reasons Why You Should Tell Your Friends About It